If you logged into DSD-Pro within the last few hours, you may have noticed a blatant accusation of plagiarism lodged against me. An interesting flurry of activities came about as a result of that.

Good Morning Sunshine

First I heard of it was somewhere around 9:am this morning when I logged into DSD-Pro to add a new article. I noticed some comments from names I didn’t recognize. Both were making rude inappropriate statements in reference to a marketing article I posted. In one of the comments, the author of a book on this same subject accused me of plagiarizing his work and he left a link here for our viewers to link to his book, so they could see the original context.

Apologies Were in Order!

First I left an apology for any misunderstanding as a follow up to the accusation, and then I immediately went to the web link this commenter had left. Sure enough, there was a book with similar information in it. Although the book did not include much of what I had in my article, it did in fact have section titles that were very much the same. I could see where the person making this claim, could consider my article an intrusion on their work. The book had a great deal more to offer along with terrific advice for online marketers and he did deserve credit, at least to a certain degree.

Striking Out On Line

So out of respect for the author I immediately removed my article from this website and bounced over to the writers website so I could apologize and try to rectify the situation by either crediting his work appropriately or make amends in some other fashion. What I found was so disheartening, I almost fell off my chair. This person had posted his allegations about me on his blog along with a picture of the article in question. His posting was titled in an offending way as was the tone of his writing. So yes, I was put off by this and really angry.

But I know myself well enough to not make a rash decision when I’m angry. So instead I left a message of apology to the individual on his blog and bounced back to mine to rewrite the article and give proper credit with link-backs to his work. While rewriting, I had to go back to his site to pick up the link addy and by this time he had written a response to my apology comment.

Is it a Lie When You Stretch the Truth?

His comment to mine was more than slightly off the mark.  While I agree with some of what he said I totally disagree with the way he mislead his audience about my intentions or my lack of follow up on this. So I opted not to finish rewriting the article in a manner that would credit him in any way or offer new links to his site. As much as I respected his writing, I’m totally disillusioned with his approach to marketing through conversation on his blog. I found he was not practicing what he was preaching, that’s for sure!

One of the points he made in his comment, was that he had tried to contact me but could not find my email info on the DSD-Pro site. FYI - This info is listed in the “About Pages” of our site, just as it is at most sites. However, I’m thinking that in his anger he did not see it and I’ll consider his statement an easy mistake to make. So I have corrected this problem by reformatting the contact information for DSD-Pro in bigger and brighter font colors. So that if anyone wishes to get a hold of me – it will hopefully be more noticeable to them, even if they are angry at the moment.

Another comment he made was, “I did a WHOIS search and found the e-mail of the domain owner. I did e-mail that address, twice, over the last 2 days. Never heard back.” He over stretched the truth here by insinuating that he did everything possible to contact me and that I ignored him, and by purposely misleading his readers.

I guess he didn’t lie about the emails if he was counting days by their name rather than by the hours passed - but how far can you go before your stretched truth turns into a lie?

You see, after reading his comment I thought to myself, that I better check the email box I had not checked yet this morning. Sure enough - he did in fact email me at 9:54 pm last night. Of course I had already gone to bed by then. But that’s not really the point, now is it? The email read:

Please note that this article: (actual link removed because it’s no longer on line)
Is a near-duplicate of Conversation Marketing, a marketing method I created over 7 years ago.
The seven rules you outline are an EXACT copy of mine. Please remove this content, and all mention of Conversation Marketing, from your blog immediately. If you would like to publish anything I’ve written in the future, please do me the courtesy of asking, first.
Your behavior is a disgrace. Have a nice week… signed….

His second email (10:20 am today) read as follows:

Cindy,
Moving this content to another page and hoping I don’t notice it any more will not work. Remove all mention of Conversation Marketing from your blog, within the next 12 hours. …signed…

Now true to his words, he had honestly emailed me twice.  The second one  was sent  literally within minutes of posting the comment on his blog about sending me two emails. I guess if you count yesterday (Sunday) as one day and today (Monday) as another, then okay his statement about emailing me twice in 2-days is surely the s-t-r-e-c-h-e-d truth.  The fact is that I was reading his 2nd message in less than 30 minutes from when he sent it and I had hardly even a moment to respond to it before he posted on his blog that he ”Never heard back.”  Misleading as his comments were to his viewers, the fact remains that he did email me twice and I hadn’t actually responded to him… at least not within the few minutes between when he emailed it and he wrote his statement.

So you tell me - was it a truth stretched too far?  No - don’t tell me.  It was really a retorical question.  I already know the answer.

After reading the second email my frustration was mounting and I think smoke was coming out my ears. I had taken the article offline so I could rewrite and give him due credit for the parts that were his by all rights. Then he makes some statement about me moving it so he wouldn’t notice it??? What was he talking about? For goodness sake - I took it offline completely and there was no moving or hiding of it. I was doing what I thought was right and what he actually stated he wanted! And I did it within minutes of reading his remarks on my blog - even before I read his harsh emails. I mean an hour hadn’t even gone by yet.  I thought this person was being really unreasonable.

Counting…1…2…3…breathe….relax….

At this time I take a deep breath and figure this fella evidently didn’t get enough sleep last night worrying over some gal who plagiarized his work and thought she could hide it from him. So I’m going to give him a break here and assume his rudeness and non-professional attitude is due to overwork and lack of sleep. Certainly he normally has better sense than this. At least his written work looked to me as though he does. Heck I was ready to quote him and offer links to his work.  Which I happen to like.

My friends, normally I’m not that bad a judge for character. But I’m really questioning myself with this person.

Whether I judged him wrong or he just simply had a slip in professionalism, I don’t know. Either way that doesn’t excuse his comments about me on his blog. It doesn’t erase the multiple links to his website and to mine now as well - that are about my “stupidity” as he put it. So I can’t actually let this little matter rest just yet. Instead I’d like to pass along to you a few lessons I’ve learned and maybe help you handle things appropriately in your business should you come across a difficult customer… or a blogger who makes inappropriate comments about you.

Lessons Learned and Recommendations

1. If you feel you have been wronged, yes address the matter with the other person.  If you choose to do that by sending them an email expressing your anger - be professional in your delivery and don’t call names or tell them their behavior is a disgrace.  How can you know if their behavior is a disgrace before you even really know what their behavior was? At least give the person an opportunity to explain things and maybe clear up the matter without dispute or causing any public humiliation to yourself or them.

2. If you ask them to correct the matter – give them at least 12-24 hours to do that. When dealing with people online you may have an entire day difference in time. That wasn’t the case here, but still it could be the case for others. Sending a nasty gram email at 9:54 pm, then following that up with a snide remark on their blog just a few hours later, along with a flaming article about the matter posted on his blog just minutes of that – well honestly folks, that didn’t give me a fair opportunity to right the wrong I was being accused of.   Handling business this way just makes folks look bad, especially for the person pumping out the bad remarks.  If the person admits their wrong doing and complies with your request, be professional enough to thank them for understanding and for correcting the situation.

3. If someone makes accusations against you and causes you (or your business) harm in a public arena you have rights and legal recourse. Do what I did and contact your legal representative and get the appropriate advice so you can follow through accordingly if necessary. You do not have to put up with public humiliation or inappropriate behavior from another business person… ever!

4. If you are wanting to make yourself look better than someone else (for whatever reason) then at least put your ego aside and be honest in your delivery. Don’t stretch the truth in an attempt to make yourself look good and them look bad. While it may be true this person sent two emails  it wasn’t in two days.  By saying he hadn’t heard back yet in the manner in which he did, simply made it look like I was ignoring him. He should have been honest with his readers and said something like, I’ve sent two emails to her and am waiting for a response. I hope it will be favorable.

5. Choose your battles wisely. If the person who’s wanting to pick a fight really has nothing to stand on, or simply wants to fight unfairly – be the bigger person and walk away from the childish game. As a professional there really are more productive ways to spend your day.

6. Remember too, that for every time you poke back — if you are doing it online, you’ve just added more traffic to their website.

7. If you’ve done something wrong unintentionally, admit to it and correct the situation immediately. If you did something that you agree could easily be perceived as wrong, even if you don’t think it is wrong, take action to help the disputing person feel better about the situation. It’s just the right thing to do and it will never hurt your business to do so.

8.If you find your way through a difficult business situation, look for the good in the matter and create something better from it. I increased the size and color of the font on my about page to make it easier for readers to find us. I wrote an article about ways to work through disputes in a professional manner. I contacted my legal rep and am ready to move forward if it becomes necessary. I learned that even when people test my patience, I can in fact present myself in a professional manner.  Remember that holding on to the angry moment or flaming someone, can damage your reputation and your business brand.

9. If you find yourself in a fix and you’re not sure of the best way to handle it - or you know your emotions may be getting in the way of good judgement, get in touch with a mentor and ask for advice. I have several business mentors and they offered good advice to me today. * Thank you very much *

10. Avoid unnecessary confrontation. If something can be handle with a private conversation.  In this situation it was a simple misunderstanding, rectified immediately with apologies attached.  Unfortunately the accuser took this situation into the public eye and wrote about it as though it was an actual dispute and that I was being unreasonable.  What a waste of time for everyone involved!  Recognize your situation for what it is and act appropriately in a professional manner.

I’ll Be Back

Final word on this matter is that communication marketing is a valid subject for digi-scrap business owners just as it is for any online business. It is not a unique business strategy designed or created by a single individual. I will be rewrite the article and you can be assured, I will not link back to this person’s written work. No matter how good I think it is. Shame too - it really was a good piece of work and I would have gladly quoted him and sent some link-lovin’s his way. That is if I hadn’t lost so much respect for him.

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